How to Find Wholeness After a Disappointment? By Cherri Wheeler

Have you ever experienced disappointment? You know, an assignment you really thought you were right for but didn’t get, the promotion that didn’t happen to the surprise of many, or the retirement before you were ready? Or the disappointment may be related to something good happening to others. Yet it may be something that goes beyond professional accomplishments, it could be the spouse or children who don’t behave in ways you approve of or parents who favors one sibling over another or the church who disappoints us in their decisions. Whatever the disappointment the results are that sometimes we become stuck. Not only do we fail to let it go, we fail to move forward as well. It becomes a place in time where we cease to be all we can be.

We have all counseled with people who are stuck in their disappointment; yet how do we deal with our own disappointments in life? For me, I spend time in reflection. Why am I so disappointed? What injustice do I feel I suffered? What role did my decisions, attitudes and actions contribute to the outcome I’m disappointed in? As I answer these tough questions honestly with myself I begin to pray through what I discover. At this point, there is usually a time when I have to practice the art of forgiveness (see page two article). I need to forgive myself for any culpability I have in the situation and I must forgive those others who may have contributed to the disappointment as well.

Once I get through the forgiveness step (this sometimes takes longer than I’d like) I must practice letting go. (Easier said than done.) Here is where scripture reading and prayer are crucial. I read again the stories of the great biblical characters, many who faced and triumphed over personal and professional disappointments. I also look for and take corrective actions. I analysis those things I did which contributed to the disappointment occurring so as not to repeat the mistake or pattern of mistakes again.

Finally, I speak with my mentor or spiritual director about the issues. As much self work as I can do; it is always good to get a second opinion from someone whom I trust and who has my best interest at heart. It is what we usually call the sanity check!

Don’t stay stuck, “Let go, let God!”